The best compliment I have ever had came from a very dear friend of mine. Although we only met a few months ago, our connection has been so natural and real that time has little relevance as to the strength of our bond. Come to think of it, I have been blessed to have a lot of timeless friends in my life. One night I was talking with her on Skype and sharing with her the latest of my dreams, the next round of crazy ideas that had grown since our last conversation. Suddenly she stopped and looked at me and said, “You know the thing I love about you is that it never seems to occur to you that something might not be possible, most people would never dare to dream the kind of dreams you do”. It was in this moment that I realised that not only was she right however I had finally reached a very pivotal point in my self-development. I had let go of the fear of failure which had long been a fear since childhood.
Earlier this month, I had one of the most incredible weekends of my life to date when I launched my first public two-day workshop “Transform your Life for Success”. After years of hard work, trials and tribulations in every aspect of my life I finally understood what it is I am here to do. I was so humbled and inspired by the transformation of the participants as they let go of fear, anger, resentment and embraced love, joy and acceptance. Everyone’s journey is as unique as their finger print however there are still so many elements which bind us together in unison.
My message is nothing new, my message is not a secret, my message is not unique to me, and my message is universal. My message is Unconditional Love! Love for oneself and love for others. Now some people may find this message to be a little airy fairy and perhaps uncomfortable because it is such a foreign concept to them. Sadly there are a great deal of people who will travel through their entire life’s journey and never truly understand, feel or embrace unconditional love in its purest form. When we arrive here into this world we are the purest form of unadulterated unconditional love. We have only two fears, the fear of heights and the fear of loud/sudden noises. We see the world as one big wondrous and magical playground. There is no difference between our skin colours, our language, our religion, our sex, not even our smells. It is only as we grow that we take on these prejudices through our experience in life however our basic needs remain the same. The Dali Lama summed it up perfectly.
Whether one is rich or poor, educated or illiterate, religious or non-believing, man or woman, black, white, or brown, we are all the same. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, we are all equal. We all share basic needs for food, shelter, safety, and love. We all aspire to happiness and we all shun suffering. Each of us has hopes, worries, fears, and dreams. Each of us wants the best for our family and loved ones. We all experience pain when we suffer loss and joy when we achieve what we seek. On this fundamental level, religion, ethnicity, culture, and language make no difference.
Dali Lama XIV, Toward a True Kinship of faiths: How the World’s Religions Can Come Together
Everyone knows that other than food, water and shelter the one thing a baby needs more than anything to flourish in this world is unconditional love. Our first three years are the most vital to our subconscious thinking patterns and the experiences we have at this time in our life have a huge effect on how the rest of our lives may unfold. Sadly, many people’s understanding of unconditional love is anger, resentment, violence, revenge, jealousy, abuse, fear, pain and sadness. We now have an epidemic of medicated children and adults for depression, behaviour disorders, mental illness, anxiety and the list goes on. We are quickly becoming a society of unfulfilled, unloved, unhappy and unsatisfied people for an array of reasons.
With all of this negativity and fear on the rise, bullying is becoming increasingly top of mind and it’s not just within school yards that this is happening. There are just as many if not more workplace bullies as there are in the school yards.
What is a bully? A bully in my opinion is someone who is deeply unhappy with themselves and their lives and lacks a sense of compassion for others. Instead of communication and fun they try to use intimidation and fear as a way of having some kind of control in their own lives. In my experience, quite often you only have to look at what is happening at home and their journey to date to understand why they are lashing out. If we are all perfectly honest with ourselves each and every one of us has been a bully at some stage in our life and probably still are to a certain degree. We bullied our siblings, our friend’s siblings, our friends, our peers, our teachers, our parents, our employers, our employees, our kids… and more importantly ourselves.
The healthier a person’s relationship with their self, the healthier the persons relationships are with others.
Bullying is only the symptom of a self-destructive flight or fight response enhanced by fear “I’ll hurt you first so you can’t hurt me”. Bullies are only as effective as you allow them to be and knowing how to cope with the emotions and the experience of being either side of this equation is the key to overcoming it. This behaviour is masked in a myriad of ways and is challenging for all involved no matter what your stage of life. At the heart of every bully is a simple desire to be loved, accepted and acknowledged for the beautiful individual they are even if they are misguided. It is possible to heal this pain and start living your life by design and not by default.
I believe it is so important for our youth to truly understand just how special and important they really are and to be given the same opportunities for a successful life regardless of their journey so far. At my recent workshop I had the pleasure of having a beautiful young lady aged 15 in my class who was brought along under duress by her mother. She had been unhappy and depressed for months after being bullied and dealing with the general stresses of being a teenager in this day and age. By morning tea on the first day she came up to me and gave me a big hug and thanked me for having her as it was one of the best days she’d had in a long time. By the end of the day she was overjoyed at what she had learned about herself and the people in her life. Feeling empowered and energised to better cope with her life having healed so much of the pain and false beliefs she had held about herself.
It is for this very reason I am now rolling out a one day workshop for Teenagers aged between 14 & 18 years. This is a safe place for teenagers to learn, share and grow. This workshop is designed to better equip them with some of the life skills needed to;
- · Build their self-esteem and self-worth,
- · How to set goals and achieve them,
- · Identify their values and how to use them for success,
- · How to take responsibility for their actions,
- · How to overcome bullying,
- · The difference between boys and girls,
- · How to better understand and manage their emotions,
- · Improve their communication skills,
- · How to have healthy relationships with themselves and others,
- · How to understand & work through the Seven Elements of Love & Life
- · And so much more…
The “Seven Elements of Love & Life” workshops will help to provide the tools, knowledge and resources for your teenager to take their power back and start living a more joyous, loving and prosperous life.
For more details on the next course dates or to enquire about any of our other upcoming events please email firstname.lastname@example.org as our website is still under development and won’t be up until October.
Until Next time,