How to overcome other peoples annoying habits and strengthen your relationships

Do you ever look at your partner or friend and just shake your head as they continue to do the most annoying things despite how many times you have asked them to stop??? It’s almost as though they are doing it purposely to irk you… Maybe there is a way to overcome these negative feelings and improve your relationships at the same time…

Relationships are always going to be the most challenging and rewarding aspect of our lives… They test, shape and inspire us, however not always in the way we would ideally like. Here I talk about how one simple change could potentially make all the difference… Enjoy! <3 Janie

Seven Billion Realities – Depression (Part Two)

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If you only had three months to live how would you choose to live out those days? Who would you spend them with? Where would you spend them? How would you view the world? Would the burdens of today really be that big of an issue? Who would you forgive or reconnect with? What legacy would you leave behind?

I recently came across an article about a young American girl called Amanda who tweeted the last months of her life after she learned she had a terminal brain tumor and only three months to live.  It got me thinking yet again about just how precious life really is and how much of our time is spent focused on things which really are inconsequential to our overall experience. I often refer to my turning point for creating my life by design being just after I turned thirty however upon closer reflection I realise it was a couple of years before that. As I have written about previously I was chosen as someone’s earth angel when my house mate Angus was sent to me in 2010. It was only a few weeks after he moved in that I was convinced he was showing signs of a brain tumor only to have our worst fears confirmed a couple of months later.  (See Blog Series “New Beginnings” for full story)

It was a huge wake up call for both of us when suddenly our own mortality was called into question. Fortunately his tumor was operable and benign however it was still a long and excruciating journey to recovery for Angus and his family. It was these experiences which lead me to really question what my life was really all about, reigniting my passion for learning. I decided that I wanted to start really living my life in such a way that if I were to be given similar news that I would feel proud of whom I had become and what I had achieved. Of course my life long question of “Who am I?” was brought to the forefront yet again and my quest for the truth of my existence continued with renewed vigor.

I started reading and researching everything I possibly could about the human mind and how it affects not only our health but also our external reality. I even went so far as to seriously consider going to university to study neuropsychology. After many months of contemplation and exploration I decided that my time and efforts were better served in other ways.  Instead I have continued to support my love of neuroscience and human behavior with my own personal study and learning. I have looked into the scientific and metaphysical explanations equally for the answers I seek about life. I have traveled wide and far seeking my truth and purpose in life and when I was thirty-one during my three month sabbatical in Costa Rica I finally got my first glimpse of what my purpose was and it has been constantly evolving ever since.

My greatest challenge and gift in my life to date was overcoming the false and limiting beliefs I had accumulated over the years and achieving a healthy and loving relationship with myself. Like any relationship I have to work at this on a daily basis however my commitment to being my own best friend and supporter has paid off in more ways than I could have ever imagined. For my first thirty years I allowed my EGO to be the most dominant force in my life and this caused me endless pain, tears and frustration. When Angus got sick, I made the decision that my life needed to change however I was not prepared for exactly how it would change in the following months.

Despite my best efforts it turned out that I would baseline before I could truly achieve my desired state. Much like a bow and arrow, life dragged me right back before launching me in the right direction. I didn’t realise it at the time however I entered a state of depression for the best part of a year following Angus’s diagnosis. I retreated from the world and spent many hours locked in my bedroom. When I wasn’t sleeping I was reading, listening to audios or writing, desperately trying to understand. I started watching the news every day and was an avid fan of the late night crime shows. Awash with fear and uncertainty about the world and its demise I also found myself fascinated with learning about the psychological personality disorders of Narcissists and Psychopaths.

Needless to say these learnings and exposure brought up every insecurity, fear and feeling of resentment to the surface of my consciousness. My EGO was slowly suffocating my truth and in my quest for answers I was consequently isolating myself with my toxic thinking and conversations both internally and externally. I was convinced every second person was a narcissist and analysed everyone, looking for their dark agenda.  You can imagine I wasn’t exactly a ball of fun to be around during this time and pushed away some really lovely people in my life with the intensity of my obsession. Something I have been known to do at many points during what I sometimes call my “Toxic Twenties”.  Depression wasn’t a new experience to me however in the past I was cleverly able to mask it’s presence with my numerous addictions and the lies my EGO told me or at least that’s what I thought at the time.

I certainly wasn’t aware of my depression and it’s only with hindsight that I can see clearly the destructive path I was treading, I was definitely feeding my dark wolf. When the 2011 floods came to town and the city of Brisbane was inundated with water my faith in humanity was restored as I witnessed the outpouring of love and support for those affected. I stopped watching the news and crime shows, I dropped my obsession with personality disorders like a hot cake and started to focus my energy towards more positive thoughts and activities. A few months later I celebrated my thirtieth birthday and parted ways with my boyfriend of six months. Now this is where the real transformation started to unfold in my life as I commenced what I call “Project Positive”. Systematically I worked tirelessly towards turning every negative in my life into a positive.

Until “Seven Billion Realities – Part Three”,

Janie xo

Afternoon Nap

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I hear you calling me with your sweet promise of relief as my eyes start to burn. My mind starts its daily debate with each side coming up with valid points of persuasion but it’s no good, I know you will win. Still so much to do and yet again you convince me to join you and all will be well. I tell you “only for a while” and you smile a cheeky smile “of course” you say. I know you don’t believe me and why would you, I rarely follow through.

I take myself over to the bed where my anticipated respite awaits me. I lay my head on the pillow and make myself comfortable. You are happy now that you have got your way, your convincing argument fading out feelings of guilt. I close my eyes, the stinging subsiding as my mind wrestles with you some more before my thoughts start to jumble and no longer make logical sense. A loud noise in the distance breaks your spell and I am jolted back to the present.

My noisy mind again tries to keep me from your grasp but the struggle is futile. Like a small child on the monkey bars, I haven’t the strength to hold on as you pry each of my fingers free from reality; you catch me as I fall. You place me gently on the ground and we embrace in each other’s presence before you take my hand. This is our playground, the playground of my mind, this is where magic really happens and anything is possible. We walk for a few moments happy to be reunited again, you are all around me now, and I am safe, nothing can hurt me here.

Before you take me deeper we talk and I tell you again that we cannot meet this often for much longer. Our days are numbered and soon it will only be once a day as my body is getting stronger and healthier and I am needed out there as I have important things to achieve. You understand, happy to have had this time with me and me with you. Suddenly I feel myself being pulled deeper and deeper into the ether of my mind, as my awareness fades and my sub-conscious takes over.

Here in this place I have super powers, I can run without ever getting tired, I can fly and leap over rivers and mountains if I try, bullets and falls never mean that I will die. Even in my most vivid and violent scenes I am safe. Over the years I have mastered some control over the outcomes and often visit the same places. Other times I allow it to all unfold, sometimes I am only an observer and other times I am one of the main characters. Here is where I rendezvous with people from the past, present and future. Here there are no boundaries or limits to what can be achieved and experienced. As my mind takes flight my brain struggles to know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined.

I maintain a small sense of consciousness periodically as guilt and reality knock on the door of my mind, you tell them I’m not ready and I reluctantly agree knowing they have a point. I follow you back to the depths of my mind where I continue to explore and play. I know my time is coming to an end as the knock at the door gets louder, so loud I can no longer ignore it. I try to hold onto the images and messages from my time with you before they disperse back into the corners of my mind. We embrace once more and until we meet again in a few hours my friend I must go and live my life as I intend. Thank you for the rest, I feel renewed and fresh. My dreams are still dancing in my head, thank you again my dear friend.

Until next time,

Janie xo

Seven Billion Realities – Part One

TwowolvesIn the year 1981, I joined four and half billion people in the world, today over seven billion people are sharing this amazing place called earth. Every day we welcome over eight million new lives and farewell just over three million.  In view of these kinds of statistics I think it’s really quite incredible how well we actually all co-exist especially when you take into consideration that there are over seven billion people all experiencing their own unique reality, interpretation and belief systems. When you look at it like this is anything truly right or wrong, true or false? After all, isn’t everything we perceive in the world simply our own interpretation based on the limited facts and information we have been taught, told or experienced? You only have to play a game of Chinese whispers to understand how quickly and easily the so called truth can be misrepresented.

We as humans actually have two realities, the external reality and our internal reality. Each person is on his or her own journey in life and their individual personalities, physiology, experiences, perceptions, beliefs and thinking will greatly define the reality in which they live. Each person arrives here with a purpose, a deep seated desire to do something significant and meaningful for the greater good. Each of us possess special talents and gifts which are ours and ours alone to assist us in achieving our purpose whatever that might be.  Although sadly along the way to achieving such a mission many of us lose our way and become beaten by life’s challenges and we allow life to be our ruler and not the other way around.

There is an old story of a young boy who puzzled by life goes to see the Chief Cherokee for some clarity. “Yes my dear boy, what is it that puzzles you?” asks the Chief. “Well, I was wondering why there is so much hate, anger, and violence in the world and yet there is so much love, joy and abundance?  asked the boy. “You see child within each of us resides two wolves which fight each other, a dark wolf and a light wolf. The dark wolf feeds on fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, greed, inferiority and lies whilst the light wolf feeds on love, joy, peace, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth” answers the Chief. “Well which wolf wins” the young boy inquired. The old chief quietly replies “The wolf you feed”.

I love this story as it is an easy and powerful reminder of how important the relationship between the dark wolf (our EGO) and the light wolf (our INTUITION) actually is. So many of us go about our day oblivious to how often we are feeding our dark wolf either through our internal thoughts or by absorbing the negative fear based thinking of others. Throughout our lives we typically have more experiences, people, events, thoughts and beliefs geared towards feeding our dark wolf until it is big, strong and aggressive. Sadly there are some people in the world who have allowed their dark wolf to all but kill their light wolf and now have what I call a “dark soul”.

We live in a world where food for the dark wolf is in ample supply and available everywhere we look; on the internet, the news, movies, and television. We talk about it, blog about it, Facebook it, tweet it, Instagram it and who knows what else. In turn we end up energetically feeding not only our own dark wolf but also those of the people around us. Just like any well balanced diet for your body I came to realise a few years ago that it was equally if not more important to have a healthy mental diet. By this I mean the information I feed my mind needs to be healthy, balanced and loving towards myself and others. We so often allow these fear based thoughts to consume us and distract us from the very essence of our truth and existence until we have a reason big enough to change.

Let me ask you this…

If you only had three months to live how would you choose to live those days out? Who would you spend them with? Where would you spend them? How would you view the world? Would the burdens of today really be that big of an issue? Who would you forgive or reconnect with? What legacy would you leave behind?

Stay tuned for “Seven Billion Realities – Part Two”,

Janie xo

I Believe in my Dream…

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I BELIEVE in my dream, I BELIEVE in my dream of making a positive difference in the world on a global scale. How will I do this? Well, this is unfolding for me every day, but mostly by sharing my accumulated knowledge and experience with others in one way or another. I’m not attached to any particular “How” only my “Why”. I envision a world where people feel safe and inspired to live their truth, growing themselves the way they bend and not the way someone else tells them they should. A world where people are accepted supported and encouraged to be the best versions of themselves in both the workplace and in life. Where organisations work with their people’s strengths and treat them as individuals with real needs and emotions. Where employees are seen as people and managers no longer exist, instead companies are led by brave and inspiring leaders who put their people above their own selfish needs. Einstein once said that “Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree then the fish will grow up always believing it is stupid”.  This is something I have both witnessed and experienced throughout my life.

I have worked really hard to get where I am in all areas of my life and I am still working towards constant growth and improvement. One area in particular has been my education. I was once a fish judged on my ability to climb a tree and even today I have people in my life committed to judging my potential for success on my inability to climb said tree. I think early on my commitment to my education was driven more by my decision to leave school only three weeks into year eleven. I always knew I wouldn’t be going to University; it just never seemed to align with my personality or my way of learning. I remember telling my mother how disinterested I was in anything school had to teach and that I wanted to get out and really live my life. My mother’s advice has served me well ever since “If I allow you to leave school now, you must promise me you will never stop learning and educating yourself” a promise I have kept.

By the time most of my friends had gotten half way through their University Degree I had already been out in the work force for seven years and had been living in the UK for two of those years. I was fiercely independent and on a mission to discover my purpose. I was like the hungry caterpillar; anything that inspired me would soon become my obsession (this is still true to this day). I would take all kinds of courses and lose myself for days and sometimes even weeks in the wonderful world of books, audio and in more recent years Google and YouTube on a quest to better understand what ever subject was top of mind.  Of course the one thing that stayed true is my fascination with the age old question “Who am I?” So most of my study and learnings have been centred on understanding people and how and why we do what we do in both life and in business.

I often joke that I am a perpetual student of the “University of Life” majoring in human behaviour. My mother has always told the story how as a child I was walking at only nine months and running by ten months, my curiosity constantly at play. Always a bright and happy baby, intuitively knowing how to make people smile I didn’t actually start talking until I was two years old. For those who know me they would certainly tell you I have more than made up for lost time. According to my parents, my first word was “Why?” driving them insane as I was never satisfied with a simple answer. It was because of this nature my parents rarely treated me like a child because I was never satisfied with being my own age. I always got a long better with older children and was more interested in talking with the adults.

Growing up I dreamed of fame and fortune, what kid doesn’t? In my quest to discover what my talent was I ran my mother ragged trying all kinds of things; ballet, gymnastics, tennis, swimming, horse riding, acting, singing and dancing. I always found some reason for giving up; either I didn’t like the shoes, the mosquitoes that were in the room or the teacher. Finally I settled on Ballroom dancing which I loved despite always being one step out of time. It certainly wasn’t going to bring me my fame and fortune however it did bring me much happiness and my lifelong best friend which is worth so much more. In looking back this is very much how I have learned throughout my life, trying everything of interest and learning as much as I could before following the next subject of interest to exertion.

I have always had a burning desire deep within me to do something really extraordinary with my life. However like many of us I have allowed the small thinking of others to squander such grandiose dreams for much of my life. As young as eleven I was listening to motivational cassettes about business and success. From the age of fifteen I was constantly trialling all kinds of ideas for inspiring others at work. I recall one day when I was working on the registers at Big W, I got it in my head one morning to go and buy a couple of packets of Freddo frogs. I placed one Freddo in each till before loading them into the registers with a little note saying, “Smile, it’s a great day! You can eat me after your shift”. Every time the girls opened their register and saw the Freddo beaming his big grin at them they couldn’t help but feel good and in turn share that feeling with their customer.

It was around this time that I decided that one day I would have my own business; I just didn’t quite know what that was. I have spent the last fifteen years preparing for this very moment. In looking back over my professional career I like to think of each of my employers as a subject in my degree at the “University of Life” and I have to be honest I didn’t always pass these subjects with flying colours (Stories for another day). None the less I have learnt more from my epic failures in life than I have from any of my successes.

When I was about nine years old I was in nippers for the Surf Life Savers. Part of being a nipper was achieving certain challenges in order to receive a badge of accomplishment. One of these challenges was to swim two laps of the local swimming pool which was 100m in total. I could only do one and half laps before I gave up from exhaustion. I was SO disappointed that I cried myself to sleep that night. Waking the next morning with new resolve I told my mother that I wanted to try again even though I wouldn’t get a badge for it. I just had to know within myself that I could do it and spent the next week psyching myself up for the challenge. The next weekend my mother took me back to the swimming pool. I was so determined and focused on my goal that I not only swam two laps, I swam eleven laps. I swam and swam until my little body could swim no more. I felt such a sense of achievement that day I thought my heart would burst.

Just like that day at the pool, every so called failure I have experienced in life and in business has only served as more fuel for my fire and intensified my desire to learn and understand the how’s and why’s of the event. Looking at every detail and seeking answers so as to continually increase my level of knowledge and success for future. I believe what sets me apart from a lot of others in my field is my extensive and varied experience in many industries, roles and organisations over the years. I can empathise with people at all levels because at one point or another I have been them and can identify with their struggles and their successes. I’ve always been fascinated by the inner workings of a company and the work flow for product realisation. I love nothing more than learning about how each person’s role fits together in the bigger picture of an organisation and the mindset associated with these roles and responsibilities.

I am passionate about people. I love how we are all individuals and yet we are all the same. Nothing makes my heart sing more than when people are inspired by what they do and love working with the people they work with. When people feel safe, trusted and inspired by their workplace they will go above and beyond to contribute and usually no amount of money will entice them away. Work life balance isn’t about time; it is about feeling safe and happy at both home and at work. I don’t claim to know all the answers, and that is a good thing because if I did I would never be inspired to learn and experience more. Instead of having to know everything myself, I surround myself with incredibly successful and knowledgeable people who are available to offer their guidance and support whenever I am in need either for myself or for my clients. This is exactly how the most successful business people in the world run their businesses and created their wealth. They all understand that it is ok not to know the answers and to hire people who are smarter and more experienced than they are. They play to their strengths and allow their people to play to theirs.

My life completely changed the day I realised that I wasn’t stupid because I couldn’t climb the tree, I am in fact the complete opposite because I can do something so much better; I can swim!!!

Create the space for people to grow like they bend and anything is possible… 

Until next time,

Janie xo

Reflections of the Past Year and the Year Ahead…

 

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On Saturday I had the privilege of hanging out with two of my much younger cousins while their parents attended their annual Christmas Party. It suddenly dawned on me that despite it feeling like only a couple of months ago, it is actually a whole twelve months since I was looking after them for last year’s Christmas party. WOW!!! The last twelve months has flown by and I know this is a familiar cry from most of us, as each year seems to disappear like the sand through an hour glass quicker and quicker as we get older. When we were little and had no real concept of time our entire year was based around three key dates; our Birthday, Easter and Christmas and they took for EVER to roll around. I don’t know about you however even my concept of seasons was based solely on the fact that sometimes I liked a hot shower and other times I preferred a cold shower.

On one hand I feel like I haven’t really accomplished that much this past year and on the other hand I am blown away by what has truly unfolded in my life since this time a year ago. Everything I truly focused on has become my reality in one way or another with a few bonuses along the way. I have launched my own business, left my beloved job after four and half years, have some unbelievable clients, travelled to Sydney  nine times, Melbourne twice, Perth and Adelaide. I have met some of the most beautiful people and new friends that I could have ever hoped to embrace in my life. I launched my speaking career with ease and success; I started and ended a beautiful romance, moved in with my incredible family and have spent more special time with my aging grandfather than I have in the last ten years. I have identified exactly what my life purpose is and feel 100% certain I am indeed on the right path. So with this in mind I have fit quite a bit in and have a lot to be proud of.

I can’t help but think a little deeper about what has really come to pass. After all achieving goals are not our true objective in life; it’s who we become in the process that really counts. We all have good days, weeks, and months and even years, we also all have bad days, weeks, months and years. However, even the most challenging of times forces us to expand on so many levels. Just when we think we can’t possible endure any more pain or drama the season changes and there is again calm and time for deep reflection. These are the times that we have the opportunity to take heed of ourselves and others to make sense of what is really at play in our lives. The lessons we have learnt, the growth we have experienced, the love we have received, the people, beliefs and material possessions we have let go of and those that we have embraced.

As Christmas is drawing near and everyone is busy just trying to ‘get through Christmas’ I find myself feeling pretty blessed. There are still SO many things I wish to invite into my life personally, professionally and spiritually however looking around myself today I can truly say that I am one of the wealthiest people I know. Roger Hamilton always says “Wealth is what a person has left when you take away all of their money” and this is true of my life today. I still have my days of anxiousness and fear about what the future may hold however the days of peace, love and satisfaction far surpass any of these more worrisome thoughts and feelings. The question I often find myself asking is “How did I get here?”

I have always been on this path since I was a small child however I have taken many a detour before finally realising which path is truly destined for me. Although many people before me have walked a similar path, I am now creating my own unique journey which is in total alignment with who I am at the core of my being. This knowledge in itself is extremely comforting. I know that there are many more challenges ahead of me however for the first time in my life I feel completely prepared to tackle them head on with love, compassion and appreciation. Every day is an opportunity to put everything I have learned into practice in the most positive ways.

For even during the darkest storms of our lives, the sun is always shining on the other side of the clouds. If life was easy all of the time then we would never grow, expand our thinking or attract new and inspiring experiences into our lives. It is these dark storms that push us out of our comfort zones and draw out our true strength and resilience. It is during these times that we become more of who we already are. There is no good or bad, right or wrong, everything just is. It is only us that determines those beliefs in our lives, I know for myself the times I have considered ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ have actually brought about some of the greatest blessings in my world. Life is constantly changing, nothing ever stays the same, people and things come and go, each leaving their mark in our hearts and exchanging gifts of knowledge, memories and lessons. Therefore nothing is ever truly lost; we simply silently outgrow each other at different times and for different reasons, forever connected through memory.

Looking ahead into the infinite possibilities which lie ahead of all of us in 2014, I am excited about the opportunities which are waiting with baited breath for my arrival. I believe with all of my heart that anything is possible if you only believe it to be. Success is always found just on the outer edge of our comfort zone, this is where the magic really happens and I fully intend to push myself to these outer edges to find my rewards. We are all truly deserving of all that we desire. Life isn’t a game of luck; it’s a game of preparation meeting opportunity which will bring about your greatest bounties. If you can imagine it, believe in it and feel it in your soul you will surely manifest your desires into your reality. I don’t know about you but I have no intentions of living an ordinary life, I am living an extraordinary life!!!

Anything is possible in 2014… Are you ready for it?

Until next time,

Janie xo

Photograph by the very talented Darren Rooney – You can check out his other photos and follow him here – http://www.flickr.com/photos/51334687@N06/with/5998633941/ and here https://www.facebook.com/PhotographybyDarrenR/photos_stream

Are you Beautiful Enough???

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I have never been one to spend a lot of money on glossy magazines as I have come to realise over the years that I usually don’t get my value out of them. In many cases it’s not exactly high level journalism more like high level sensationalism and the stories versus adverts claiming they will transform your life if you buy their products are generally way out of balance. I am however guilty of taking an extra five minutes or so to flick through these glossy beauties and check out the pictures, latest headlines and occasionally speed reading an article or two of interest when I do my groceries. Now we all secretly love it when we see these seemingly perfect human beings gracing the pages who never normally have a hair out of place or a pimple in sight displaying normal everyday body issues just like us mere mortals. In actual fact I’ve heard that spreads on Celebs without makeup are some of the highest selling editions.

It is little wonder we have become a society obsessed with how we look and how everyone else looks right alongside of us. Constantly comparing ourselves to the elusive world of beauty and fame, worrying about how our peers perceive us. It reminds me of what my Grandfather would tell me growing up “Janie, if you knew just how little time other people spent thinking about you, you wouldn’t worry in the first place”. Now to a great degree these words ring truer today than any other time in my life however I am still acutely aware of our deep human condition to want to be accepted. With all of these magazines, movies, television and advertising we are all at the mercy of this big money making industry of fashion and beauty.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to look and feel beautiful. I love wearing beautiful clothes and nice jewellery, hats, bags and quality shoes. I’ve looked after my skin with a daily cleanse and moisturiser routine since I was eleven years old and for the most part I look after myself and take a lot of pride in my appearance. What prompted this article was one of the most recent magazines I happened to pick up which was showcasing high profile celebs and their cellulite. I have to admit, a warm sense of satisfaction swelled within me when I saw that some of the most beautiful women in the world also have this seemingly unattractive issue. Even better was their attitude towards their bodies, defiant and confident. Without someone there to airbrush and photo shop them, they are just like me, just like you.

Most of us are our own worst enemy, avoiding the mirror unless necessary and when we do look in that said mirror our internal dialogue goes to work. “Gee you’re looking old” “Fatty boomba you need to go on a diet!” “Wow, you’re ugly” “Who would be attracted to you?”… Sound familiar? If you had a friend that spoke to you like that every time you met with them would you keep hanging out with them? Then why do we treat ourselves like this?

It’s taken me a long time, however I have worked on it daily until I can now honestly look in the mirror and tell myself that I am beautiful. I’m certainly not model material however I don’t need to be either. There are still things I’d change if I could. I’d like to have nicer teeth, longer lashes, and tanned skin, a better nose and maybe even be a few inches taller. However then I take check and realise that I can get better teeth and change my nose if I really want to go through that pain. I can also get a spray tan and fake lashes. With all the travel I do these days I realise being vertically challenged has its advantages as I fit quite comfortably in planes and trains and have no issues sleeping.

However, what I do have is so much more important. I have two eyes that see with 20/20 vision, I have two arms, hands, legs and feet that work perfectly. I can run, walk, swim, throw, catch, hold, pick up and hug in a nanosecond of the thought. I have an incredible mind, a healthy body, I rarely ever feel unwell, I get plenty of sleep, I have great hair and I’m a good weight for my height. When I remember all of these things I am beautiful just the way I am. I even embrace my cellulite because this is part of me, it is a natural part of being a woman and to disown this part of myself is telling my body that I am not enough and that is so far from the truth.

My best friend and I have made a pact with each other that when we have children we will never put ourselves down in front of them. I spent my childhood watching my mother complain about how fat, ugly, old or stupid she was and she always seemed to be on some new diet. She was none of these things and yet as an impressionable young girl I bought into this false belief and made it my own. After all, she was my mother and I was part of her so I must also be just like that… right?  Children are so perceptive and are like little sponges as we all know. If we want our children to value and love themselves, believe they are beautiful, perfect and worthy of all that they desire in life than we too must hold this belief about ourselves.

“Even the most unfortunate person has something so truly beautiful about them; maybe it’s their eyes, their smile, their hair or their personality.”

Of course it is important to look after ourselves, have a healthy lifestyle and dress nicely, to feel good within ourselves and not to impress everyone else around us. One thing I have realised is that there is always going to be someone we are looking at wishing we were more like them  however there is always going to be someone looking at us wishing they were more like us. I have heard it said many times that in a room full of people that the most beautiful person in the room is not the best looking; it’s the person with the most confidence and self-belief. When I think back over my life this is so true. The people I’ve found to be the most attractive are not necessarily all that good looking, however they are confident, loving, fun and at peace within themselves.

We were all born perfect so what makes us think we somehow become less perfect? We are all imperfectly perfect and becoming more each and every day. You ARE beautiful enough! 

Until next time,

Janie xo